Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize