is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I got inside last night via doggy door
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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