Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize