And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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