We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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