i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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