I seem to have left my pride at pride
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
