At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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