Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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