Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize