Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
