he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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