I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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