Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
