we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
