You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
