This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
