Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
