I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
