if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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