Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
