You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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