All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
