well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
