how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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