What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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