I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
