She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
