I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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