How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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