I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let's get the cat blown out
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
