You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
