he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
