In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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