I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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