So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
