Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
