This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
