Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
