Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize