Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
