have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I love having hate sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
