this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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