You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just invented taco cereal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
