Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The uberlube is also flammable
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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