He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
