I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
ugly people sure do ruin things
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
