He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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