Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
