Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
