Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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