I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sext me about skeletons
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
