Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
