yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
