We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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