i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
