Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
