He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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