wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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