did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
