I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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