The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
