My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
