I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
