can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You're like the curious george of whores
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
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