Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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