note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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