I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
