I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
