Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
