the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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