just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
