Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
