just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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