do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
