Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
