Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
