and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
