She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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