hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
