dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
